I Can't
Let me just spit it out. I am tired. Really tired of this. Tired of holding onto hope that I will be cancer free. I will be able to pass through this rough patch with flying colors. I am tired of acting strong and mighty. I am tired of doctors. I am tired of treatment. I am tired of feeling sick. I am tired of pain. I am tired. I want to say just forget it. Just forget it! I give up!! I know many have been and will continue to tell me to hang-on, don't give up, have faith, pray more...I don't want to be rude but I can't hear anything you have to say to me. Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow. I just need to complain, whine and cry like a baby right now. I have to stop pretending to be okay. Focused and hopeful with mighty faith-- because I am not. Last week I had a post-op appointment with the surgeon to go over the results of biopsy. 4/7 lymphnodes came back positive. The surgeon recommended another surgery to remove all lymph nodes in my underarm area. This is before s...