Imperfect Life

Day 9 Respect (for self, others, authority) "Father, grant that my children may show proper respect to everyone, as your Word commands" (1 Peter 2:17) It's amazing how even the little ones know how to hurt someone with their words. One of the things I try to teach my children is not to say spiteful or discouraging words to self or others. They know what I would say when I catch them speak in that manner. "You can bring life or death with your words! Which would you choose?" They respond, "Yeah, yeah, Mom I know...."sometimes with an eye roll. It's annoying when they dismiss it so lightly but I know they heard the truth. Hopefully one day it will take root! One of things I really like about the Korean culture is the respect for the elderly. It doesn't matter if you are related to the elderly person or not, you are expected to show respect and honor to them. Even a small gesture like standing up to bow your head or giving up your seat for ...

Day 8: May my children always be merciful, just as their Father is merciful (Luke 6:36) So many of us heed to the enemy and breath in all the ugly lies he tells us about ourselves. "You're not good enough, you're ugly, you're weak, you're dumb, who do you think you are, don't you remember what you've done?" That voice is so loud and clear we forget that Jesus Christ already, already removed all the guilt and shame from us. He picked us up from the miry bog and put us on the rock of salvation (Ps 40:2-3). The enemy is crafty but we also allow him to whisper to us poisonous thoughts. I struggle every day in the weakness of my body. Currently, my biggest struggle is trusting God with my life span and cancer. I am fearful that I might not live long, which cripples me to go forward and live strong. Being fearful and captured is against my grain. It is different than being steady and waiting on God. I hear God telling me go forth but the enemy whispers...

Day 7: Justice: God, help my children to love justice as You do and act justly in all they do (Ps.11:7, Mic 6:8) On my phone, I have my family's phone numbers saved with an adjective before their names. For my second child, I have it saved as "Justice J". My kids think I am corny for doing such things but it is a reminder for myself and for them of my hope and prayer for each one. One thing that I hope to see in my children is their passion to help the weak and the needy: The helping hand to reach down to the trenches and lift them up. I am so glad that it has become very natural for my kids to think about forming their own families through adoption. They freely share how they want to go beyond their parents and adopt from other races and ethnic groups. We get excited imagining what our family might look like one day. I pray that their spouses will share the dream, but at the same time I acknowledge that each one of them may have different calling from God. I hope ...

I know and I know and I know, when I read the scripture I can clearly hear God speaking to me. Many times I have experienced God speaking to me about whatever I had been praying and thinking about through the scripture. He always, without fail, encourages me and gives me hope through His Word. So, why am I negligent about reading the Bible? It's been my life time struggle as a Christian to read and meditate on the word of God. It really has been. I've prayed and fasted over it, it has made the  #1 spot on my new year's resolution, I've asked people to pray that I can read and study more. Reading the Bible just hasn't become second nature to me yet. I want it badly because I know it's powerful. When I understand God's heart through his Word, I become more like Him. I want to hear with my ears, understand with my heart and be healed (Acts 28:27). When I hear some parents share about how they do daily quiet time with their children, I shut down in shame. ...

We live in the age of instant gratification. We can't even be bothered by having to open up facebook to get the scoop on what everyone else is doing, we check into Snapchat for instant up-to-the-minute updates. We live in a world where things are created to only to nurture our desire for instant pleasure even more and weaken our muscles for perseverance. Ability to exercise self-control is unique to human beings, our brain is wired for it. One of the symptoms of ADHD is difficulty with impulse control and we are prescribed a drug to manage it. Therefore, we know we are equipped to exert self-control in all areas. The Bible teaches us about self-control, perseverance, suffering, love...As a Christian mother, I often wonder how I can help these truth to penetrate through my children's hearts. How do I show my growth in the area of self-control? When another driver cuts me off on the road, how do I respond? When others treat me unfairly, when in suffering, when I'm tempt...

The most honest person that I can think of right now is my husband. I don't mean he never tells a lie or he does everything perfectly. Actually he is far from being perfect. I know, I live with him. But one character of my husband that I respect is his ability to admit his wrong and apologize. Sometimes, in my head I think, "Well, why don't you just do right at the first place." But which one of us can say that we never do wrong? We never lie, we never hurt someone, we never cheat, we never do wrong...not I.  He is quick to realize he was wrong and quick to admit it. I think honesty is a character of a real man. A real integrity. Most of us prefer to say nothing, pretend and hope that we don't have to face the reality. We like to pretend that we are clean, pure and perfect. We hide behind a facade and live a life behind the wall of guilt and shame. Honesty is a virtue. Honesty is not clean as we think. It's very messy and dirty, requires lots of dirty work. ...

It is painful to experience a riot so close to home. According to the police, Mr. Scott was armed and was shot because he paused a threat to the police. According to the people of his community he was merely waiting for his son inside his car. People feel the need to find justice and make change. I strongly agree. Some rush out there in their own desire for excitement and start violent activities. Honestly, I am not able to understand why civilians feel the need to carry a weapon. They say it is their right to carry and they want to protect themselves. I see...I respect their argument. I also feel very strongly that the laws and licensing should be much more stringent. One should not be able to buy a weapon at a local Walmart. Freedom always comes with responsibility. So frustrating and so heartbreaking. Every life matters. Every life matters. Misunderstanding wounds people deeply. Everyone has a deep desire to be loved and accepted. People who feel rejected are wounded people. Wou...

Many many years ago, when I was in a youth group, we decided to publish a newsletter. Out of filial piety, we asked the Senior Pastor to name our newly launching newsletter. He gave us the name, "Wisdom" We didn't like it. We wanted something more trendy and cool. Even in 1980's it didn't ring too well. Wisdom...old school and boring. Too Bibley sounding. He also gave us the verse "The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord" (Proverbs 9:10). In my young mind, wisdom sounded much more abstract than intelligence. What is the fear of the Lord...being fearful of God? Knowing God? How do we know God? I once took a course titled, "In Christ Image- Being transformed into His image" It sounded interesting enough but more importantly I had a conviction in my heart about being transformed to be more like Jesus as we are called. The course was very painful. Not because of the work load, but the Holy Spirit really began to work in me, stirring up ...

An overbearing and controlling parent? That would be me, I confess. My eldest child once told me that she feels like she is my guinea pig that I tried out every parenting tool on her and see if it works or not. Her argument is that since I get to "test out" on her, her younger siblings get the better deal. What she doesn't know is that even after "testing out" on her, my parenting tools never work the same with her younger siblings. Each one of my four kids are so very different and I have not figured out "fit all" parenting tool yet. I wish I had a formula, it would so easy. As we left our second (middle) child at her college dorm, as she screamed and claimed her overdue independence, I felt nail biting anxiety flooding over me. Have I done enough?  As my 22 year old child tells me, "Mom, I AM 22 years old!" kindly reminding me that I need to stop stepping over the boundaries. As my 14 year old teen son exclaims, "Mom, I'm not...